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This page is for the dialogue for all the scenes with Damien Bloodmarch. Depending on how you play his route will determine how his character will be displayed.

Introduced to Damien[edit | edit source]

At the mall[edit | edit source]

???: Look, this is very important to me.

I overhear a stifled argument over at the cash register. An older gentleman is carrying a garment and showing it to a bored-looking cashier with pink hair.

Cashier: I can see that. Don't know what to tell you dude, I just work here.

???: Listen, when I bought this online the website said this blouse was Victorian-inspired. However, when I received it, it CLEARLY held the trademark of Edwardian dressage.

Cashier: Do you want a coupon? I can give you a coupon. Will you leave if I give you a coupon?

???: Is there a manager present? People have to know what they're buying.

Cashier: I AM the manager.

???: I see. Well, it would seem that I have outstayed my welcome. Good day, shopkeep. Your superiors will receive a strongly-worded letter by post.

Cashier: Whatever, dude.

The man whirls around and storms out, his literal coattails trailing behind him. I can’t tell if they are Victorian-inspired or Edwardian in nature.

Amanda trots up to me with a T-shirt in her hand. Oh boy. Here it comes.

Amanda: Heeeeey, Dadtron 5000...

Avatar: YES, I'll buy it for you.

Amanda: Wow, that was easy. Thanks!

Avatar: At least it's only one this time.

Amanda plops the shirt onto the counter and grins at the cashier.

Amanda: I love your hair.

The cashier says nothing and rings Amanda up, radiating hatred. I hand her a twenty.

Avatar: So what was that guy's deal?

The cashier rolls her eyes so hard I’m worried she'll pull something.

Cashier: That's Damien. He's in here all the time. He's obsessed with Victorian fashion or whatever.

She hands Amanda her bag and it's clear the conversation is over.

We make our way out of the store and head home to get some rest.

At the barbeque[edit | edit source]

[The following is how the text appears if you previously saw Damien at the mall.]

I spot Joseph chatting with the guy from Dead, Goth, & Beyond by the grill. I wonder what they're talking about? I walk over to them.

Joseph: So I'm curious, can you walk me through why you had your house painted black?

Damien: Where do I even start? The house stays warmer in the winter, it provides an artistic contrast to the rest of the neighborhood, and it complements the crimson interior perfectly.

Joseph: It's definitely an...interesting...choice

Damien: Thank you, I'm very proud of my abode.

Joseph: Avatar! I was just having a conversation with Damien here about his...aesthetic design decisions.

Damien regards me up and down with a warm but critical eye.

Damien: How do you do? I don't believe I've had the pleasure.

Avatar: I think I saw you in Dead, Goth, & Beyond the other day.

Damien's face turns bright red.

Damien: I...must apologize for my behavior on that day. You see, I take the Goth lifestyle very seriously, and to be caught in a ruse by such a corporation as Dead, Goth, & Beyond was profoundly frustrating, indeed. I hope you know that while my anger may have been justified, it was no such way for a gentleman to act.

Avatar: It's...okay, man.

Damien: Do tell me about yourself. Are you new to the area?

Avatar: Yes! My daughter and I just moved in the other day. She was the one I took to Dead, Goth, & Beyond.

Damien: Very good taste on her part, does she partake in the Goth lifestyle?

I think for a second. I look over to Amanda, who's hanging out with some of the older kids in the neighborhood.


Amanda yells back.


Damien: Ah, pity.

Joseph: Are you enjoying the party so far?

Avatar: Oh definitely, thanks so much for putting this on. It's nice to be in a cul-de-sac where everyone is so friendly and welcoming.

Amanda walks up to the conversation.

Amanda: I also like the Lost Boys a lot. Really good movie. Does that count as Goth?

Damien: That it would, my dear. I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting. Damien Bloodmarch, at your service.

Damien finishes the sentence with a flourish and a bow, producing a single rose and offering it to Amanda.

Amanda blushes and returns the gesture with a curtsy.

Amanda: My, do you know how to treat a lady.

[Joseph dialogue]

Lucien: Dad, can we go now?

Damien: Ah, Lucien, have I introduced you to Avatar yet?

Hey, it's that punk kid from Amanda's school.

Avatar: I remember you.

Lucien: Whatever.

Damien: That's no way for a young man to speak to his elders! Be polite.

Lucien bows.

Lucien: Whatever...sir.

Lucien bows again.

Lucien: Mr. Christiansen, may I have a veggie burger...sir?

Joseph: Coming right up, bud. Are you vegetarian?

Lucien: Yup.

Damien: Make that two veggie burgers. Did you know that some people in the Victorian era were vegetarians? They described carnivorous-type people as "blood-lappers".

Lucien: Dad...

Joseph: That's really interesting, Damien.

Joseph turns to the grill. Just a hint of a tattoo peeks out from underneath his sleeve. I can't believe I didn't notice it before. It looks like the bottom of an anchor.

Lucien: Whoa, is that a tattoo?

Joseph: Yup. I wasn't always a youth pastor, you know.

Lucien: That's so cool. Wanna see mine?

Damien: What?

Lucien pulls back some rubber bracelets, revealing a lopsided "666" in black ink.

Lucien: My buddy gave me a stick-and-poke tattoo last week. I think it's healing up pretty good.

Damien: Lucien! ...We'll talk about this later.

Joseph: That's pretty cool. What's the significance of the tattoo?

Lucien: I dunno...I just thought it looked sick.

Joseph: Well, in my opinion the only reason you need to get a tattoo is because you want one. Careful though, that number carries weight.

Man...Joseph is a way cooler Youth Pastor than I thought. I just figured Youth Pastors popped out of the womb with a bible. I wonder what he did before preaching.

Joseph: And without further ado, let's work some magic.

Joseph closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and gets to work. With the greatest of ease he sets patties on the grill, flourishing as he flips his spatula in the air. It’s easily some of the best grillwork I’ve ever seen.

Joseph: You guys think this is my first time in front of a grill?

He's working faster now, effortlessly tossing cheese onto patties and perfectly grilling onions on the side. One after another, the dads take notice and crowd around Joseph to admire his masterful technique.

Craig: You probably didn’t know this, Avatar, but Joseph's known around here for his grillmanship.

Brian: He's un-grill-ievable.

Craig: I've tried to get on his level, but I just can’t ketchup.

Mat: Lettuce keep studying. He has a Rare quality about him.

Damien: Mustard we keep talking about this? Can't we just appreciate the artist?

Robert: I've never seen him make a mis-Steak.

Hugo: Okay, we need to stop, this is getting too...cheesy.


All of the children at the party boo the glorious display of puns in unison.

Joseph: Alright guys, the food's ready! Please form an orderly barbe-queue.

Amanda groans. We all grab our food and hang out, enjoying perfectly cooked cheeseburgers.

First Date[edit | edit source]


Outside Damien's house (Part 1)[edit | edit source]


Inside Damien's House[edit | edit source]


In the archives[edit | edit source]


In the garden[edit | edit source]


Drive to school[edit | edit source]


At school[edit | edit source]


Driving home[edit | edit source]


Outside Damien's House (Part 2)[edit | edit source]


Second Date[edit | edit source]


Outside the theatre[edit | edit source]


Inside the theatre[edit | edit source]


After the movie[edit | edit source]


In the cemetery[edit | edit source]


Outside Damien's House[edit | edit source]


Third Date[edit | edit source]


Bayside[edit | edit source]


At the shelter (Part 1)[edit | edit source]


In search of the dog[edit | edit source]


Bayside[edit | edit source]


Stadium[edit | edit source]


Aquarium[edit | edit source]


Coffee Spoon[edit | edit source]


Cul-de-Sac[edit | edit source]


Inside Hugo's House[edit | edit source]


At the shelter (Part 2)[edit | edit source]


Amanda's Graduation Party[edit | edit source]

Lucien[edit | edit source]


Damien[edit | edit source]