Joseph

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Joseph
Joseph
Relationship status: Married
Spouse: Mary
Children: Chris
Christie
Christian
Crish
Voice actor: Arin Hanson

Joseph 'Christ' Christiansen (Cool Youth Minister Dad) is one of the dateable dads in Dream Daddy. He lives next door and is married to Mary. His four children are named Chris, Christie, Christian, and Crish. He works as a youth minister at the church down the street.

Likes / Dislikes[edit | edit source]

Likes:

  • Baking with the kids
  • Extensive knowledge of knot tying
  • Doing kickflips

Dislikes:

  • Lost salt shakers
  • When dads don't get along
  • When people think that crocs are acceptable boat shoes

DadBook Profile[edit | edit source]

Voted Maple Bay's #1 Youth Minister for five years running. Living in my hometown with my beautiful wife and our four amazing kids. If I'm not in church you can catch me out on the open water, setting sail on the seas of adventure! I love playing guitar and crushing my kids at Candy Land.


On a Friday Night you are most likely to....
Lead the community in a fun mixer


If you had one thing to take with you onto a desert island, what would it be?
My six string


What are your turn-ons?
My loving wife


What did you want to be when you grew up?
Ship captain


What's your favorite movie genre?
Feel-good movies


What's your ideal date?
Lovely night on the town with my wife


What do you never leave home without?
The good book


I spend a lot of time thinking about:
How I can be a better man, husband, father

Conversation options[edit | edit source]

First Date[edit | edit source]

Creepy Twin Schtick[edit | edit source]

  • Egg them on - Like
  • We should get to baking - Neutral
  • Go with something creepy - Neutral
  • Go with something obscure - Like

Spiders![edit | edit source]

  • Spoon duel the Spider King - Neutral
  • Renegade Option - Neutral

Brownies[edit | edit source]

  • Oh yeah! - Like
  • I hope so. - Like
  • Sneak another brownie to ease your fear of public interaction. - Dislike

Brownie Creation[edit | edit source]

  • We used the box recipe! - Like
  • We improvised. - Like
  • It's just how Nonna used to make. - Dislike

Brian's Brownie Bet[edit | edit source]

  • I bet I could eat eleven brownies. - Dislike (Increases Brian's Affection)
  • Just let the man buy his brownies.- Neutral

Selling Brownies to Craig[edit | edit source]

  • Remember that one time... - Love
  • You can't spell “diet” without “die” - Dislike
  • Tempt him - Neutral

The Freak-Show[edit | edit source]

  • They're kinda weird - Neutral
  • They seem nice - Neutral
  • Shove a brownie in your mouth so you can't talk - Dislike

Joseph's Apology[edit | edit source]

  • Are you okay? - Neutral
  • What's her deal? - Dislike
  • Brownies fix everything. - Like

Second Date[edit | edit source]

Fixing the Banner[edit | edit source]

  • JESUS IS CUMIN - Like
  • JESUS ISN'T CUMING - Dislike
  • JESUS IS CALMING - Love

Spinmaster Quinn[edit | edit source]

  • That's not how DJing works. - Love
  • Shut up and play the hits! - Love
  • Play the booty bumpers. It's what Jesus would've wanted. - Like

Spinmaster Quinn's Wife[edit | edit source]

  • Susan - Dislike
  • Sandra - Love
  • Sandy - Dislike

Dancing with Joseph[edit | edit source]

Part One

  • Start with the Lawnmower - Neutral (Best Option)
  • Roll the Dice - Neutral
  • The Worm - Neutral (Scares the Children)

Part Two

  • Shopping Cart - Neutral
  • Sprinkler - Neutral
  • Running Man - Neutral (Youth Respond Positively)

Part Three

  • Cabbage Patch - Neutral (Best Option)
  • The Windmill - Neutral (Scares the Children)
  • Hammer Slide - Neutral

Part Four

  • Moonwalk - Neutral (Best Option)
  • Butter Churn - Neutral
  • Attempt Twerking - Neutral (Don't...)

Big Finish

  • Attempt an Unrehearsed Backflip - Neutral (Joseph will stop you)
  • Lift Joseph up Dirty-Dancing Style - Neutral
  • Death Drop - Neutral (Best Option)

Margarita Zone[edit | edit source]

  • Watch out for blown out flip flops - Like
  • Let's get tattoos of Mexican cuties - Like
  • It's heaven on earth with an onion slice - Dislike

Third Date[edit | edit source]

Wrestle Neptune[edit | edit source]

  • I didn't bring any talcum powder - Neutral
  • Luckily I brought my Neptuning fork - Like
  • Can do! - Love

Yelling at the Ocean[edit | edit source]

  • YOU'RE ALL SPINELESS, INVERTEBRATES - Like
  • I HAD LOBSTER LAST WEEK AND CAN'T WAIT TO EAT MORE OF YOU - Love
  • MY LIFE GOAL IS TO PUNCH AS MANY FISH AS I CAN BEFORE I DIE - Neutral

Wine?[edit | edit source]

  • Wine. - Neutral
  • WINE. - Like
  • WINE!! - Love

Pour Wine[edit | edit source]

  • Regular Pour - Like
  • POWER POUR - Love

Revive the Vibe[edit | edit source]

  • This view though... - Neutral (returns to Revive the Vibe)
  • Do you like your mysteries... hot bodied? - Love (Skips Name Your Yacht)
  • I bet we'll have a whale of a time - Like (Skips Name Your Yacht)
  • What's it like owning a yacht? - Neutral (leads to Name Your Yacht)

Name Your Yacht[edit | edit source]

  • The Salty Swallow - Love
  • Long, Hard, and Full of Seamen - Love
  • Fuck You, Whales - Neutral (returns to Revive the Vibe)

Date Responses[edit | edit source]

"Wow, what time is it? That was crazy!"

"Whooo... that's some good grillin'."

"I could just fall into your eyes."

"Yeah, I mean you, you look great... it was fun."

"That was a great date!"

Related achievements[edit | edit source]

Icon Name Description
Achievement.jpg Dreamiest Daddy Go on every date with every dad.
Achievement.jpg Margarita Zone Go on all Joseph dates.
Achievement.jpg Escape From Margarita Zone Find Joseph's secret ending.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • His name, along with his wife and children are a play on biblical figures. Him and his wife have the names, Mary and Joseph, who are the parents of the Christian savior, Jesus Christ.. All their children have names that have the root, Christ-, who is the child of Mary and God, along with Joseph as his stepfather. It is quite funny since Joseph is a youth minister.
  • Unlike some of the other dads, you still have a relationship with Joseph in his bad end and you get dumped in his good one.
  • He is revealed to be a cult leader in a non-canon and inaccessible secret ending.
  • He at one point cheated on his wife with Robert.
    Cult Leader .jpg
  • Joseph's ending art was created by Ego Rodriguez.
  • Due to him being a married father who cheats on his wife (and hints of driving her to alcoholism), the fact that he has no "good" ending, and his involvement to the non-canon cult-ending story line (and his possible connections to the Dover Ghost), Joseph could arguably be considered the games main villain.
  • Joseph is one of three dads that you can die on a date with- in his second date, if you select all the worst options for the dancing segment, and then finish with the backflip attempt, you will land on your head and break your neck. The other two dads are Brian and Craig.

Gallery[edit | edit source]

Promotional Content